COVID-19 Virus Shutdown, Day 22

I will warn you, when I wrote this, I was having a bad day.
But this blog ought to be real, not a bunch of sunshine and fiction.

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I'm grieving my old life and I'm in the anger stage.

At lunch, I dropped an entire pitcher of lemonade on the area rug in my kitchen, which
didn't help matters.
Then people keep sending me work and meetings when I thought I had the afternoon free.
Everyone is irritating me, from the lady who talks over me to the people constantly asking for help or ways around getting their certificate. Last minute crap.
Dont get me wrong, I like helping. But when you just want to stop, every request is annoying.

And I'm just angry.
I want to go away but can't, which makes it worse.

I want my mom and dad. And they're home now, but I can't see them after months of them being in Florida.
I think, after talking it over at dinner with my fam, that this really is the crux of the problem .

I need a diversion.
I have a book I'm going to start, to get away from it all.  I'm reading "The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane" by Kelly Harms.
I have a really sweet friend who gives me books. I'm still reading out of the last box of books, Colleen!

I have to change my attitude too.

Allow for people to ask for help until 4pm, then stop. Save it for the next day. Have an end time so I don't feel so trapped.

Take the goofy dog for a walk. Even if he rips my arm off when he sniffs a dog on the other side of the fence.
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Who, me? 

Read by the garden and wait for the water to recede in the backyard.
Let the goofy family be themselves, too. It's certainly more interesting that way.

I found a bag of mini marshmellows.
Marshmallows. Strange that the right spelling looks wrong.
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And I watched a movie with my daughter that wasn't about cars. It was called Lady Bird.
And we are now watching Derry Girls.

And I feel better.
I'm lucky really, in so many ways.
But even the lucky can get down, right?

There is no lesson here, at least not intentionally.
I just wanted to be real with you today.

Thanks for listening.
Stay safe, sane, and healthy!
Vicky



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