Losing the COVID-19+ ... 96 days to go

 

Motivational Poster #2


Hello again, World. 

I watched a video last night. 
Jared, the man in the video was 500+ lbs. He had red fuzzy hair and glasses. It takes him so very long to make progress, but he does. He talks of all his difficulties, feeling low self worth, getting bullied. 

He inspired me more than most other videos. 
Because for me, one of the fantasies of "when I lose weight" is that it will fix everything; my relationships, my skin, my hair, I will suddenly become a fashionista, I will become popular and well liked by everyone, they will all be so proud of me and amazed by my accomplishments. 

This guy plugged along, day after day, for 15 months.  And when he was done, his hair stayed fuzzy and he kept the glasses. He didn't become a fashion plate or suddenly get married or have lots of beautiful people around him as so many ads imply. He was the same guy, just thinner, healthier, and smiling. He was proud of himself. (This is all we know from the video). 

It points out to me that I must remember that I am here to lose fat. I will still be me. It's not going to solve everything. If I dont like my clothes, I need new ones. If I dont like my hair I need to change it. If I dont like my relationships I need to fix them. 

I also realized that there are no guarantees everyone will be happy for me. The weight loss won't be visible for weeks and weeks to others. And we've all been on the wrong end of jealousy. Many people don't enjoy seeing others succeed at something they fail at. It's uncomfortable. It makes them feel like they have to change. My motivation cannot be to get the approval of others, because the opposite may happen!

My motivation has to be feeling better - emotionally, physically, and mentally. Being proud of myself regardless of  how others feel. 

Once the weight loss becomes just my new normal size, my new normal way of eating, I will become less interesting. Maintenance, I hear, is even harder than loss, partly, I believe, because of this boring new normal. 

I've got to learn to enjoy just being me, in the end. 

--Vicky

P.S. Found the video again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI4wPSaPDU4

Say hello to Jared.

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