Confessions of a Wanna-Be Baker

June 7, 2018  6:04 PM

"Follow your dreams", they say.
So what is my dream then, I ask? What is the one thing that if I could never do again would send me into a spiral of sadness and depression? What is the one thing that I hope, pray, wish, practice, work at, think about constantly, and never get tired of? That would be the dream.

What it is for me, is baking. More accurately, baking, candy making, decorating, fondant, cookies, cakes, pies and drooling over cookbooks. I have an entire library of them.

But the next question is, can I , a 47 year old woman who has a full time job NOT in the culinary arts, has only home experience, and is a Mom and a Wife, truly ever own my own bakery? Certainly it's a pipe dream.
But dream, I do.

Whenever the lottery comes around, I put my four bucks in and hope and wonder, if I did win today, I would certainly quit my job and go build a bakery, right? Or would I?
I mean, I want it to be a successful bakery, don't I? That's part of the dream, certainly. And personally I want my bakery to employ those who have a harder time getting work; those with special needs, those who have retired but want some part time work, those who have been rehabilitated. And lately the dream is to enable. To allow those in a wheelchair to push up to standing and order a cupcake face to face. There are devices out there, I've seen them. Maybe sponsor a robotics team?

And yet I know so little about the actual ownership of a bakery.
I don't even have training nor have I set eyes on a commercial kitchen let alone hands.
(*Note: June 9th, we DID set foot in a commercial kitchen. Oh I so want to play in there!)

Well as long as we're dreaming, let's say I take those classes. And let's say I get that experience.
Then all I need is the money and some serious bravery.

So, what would step one look like?
Fortunately for me I saw that there WAS a way to get a baking and pastry certificate at night, after work. Sure it means I have to take a college class one or two nights a week and double up on my martial arts classes (Tai Chi and Iaido). And with my new position at my job, I might be seriously stressed out, trying to do well in all aspects.

But I'm here to tell you I am not dead yet, I'm actually doing it.
Class one of twelve is a Food Safety course where at the end you take a Serve Safe certification; one of the prerequisites for even working in that industry.

I'm 5 weeks in, took my midterm, and take the big test in two weeks. Meanwhile in Iaido, I tested the very next day for my next rank. And work was taking off too.
I don't know how I managed to sleep. But I did little else - work, sleep, classes. Sure I took time for graduation parties and summer barbecues.
(*Note 2: I double promoted in Iaido! And am getting recognized at work. :) )

I dont know where this road will take me, but at least I am one step closer.
After the certificate, my planned step two would be to work in the industry, at a bakery that is like one I want to own.

Another thing recently discovered is that I need to be able to lift 50 lbs. That's a lot. I have no idea now how much I can lift today. I do belong to a gym but haven't been going. Not while I've been this busy. I know I can get there after this class is done, and before September when the next classes begin. Then I don't have to go 3x  a week, but more like two to keep it up.

(*Note 3: Went to a personal trainer this week and I can lift 25lbs. Halfway there! More work to do but i'm excited that PT is willing to accommodate me, maybe even bring in bags to the gym for me to carry around. Yay!)

.....

June 23, 2018 6:55AM

I don't want to look.
I'm afraid I didn't pass or I got a worse grade than I had hoped for. I seem to look around the corner for a sign that I should give up, that i'm not cut out for this. It's scary to look at yourself and wonder if you're good enough for the dreams you have.

I don't want to look.
But I do.
I got 4 credits for the food safety class.
My grade was 3.7 GPA.

Ok I know that's good but I 'm used to letter grades.... should I be proud or just okay with it and lets move on to the next class?

So I do the conversion from GPA  to letter grade.
I made an A-

Deep sigh of relief. It has the letter A in it.
Whew! I was hoping for a B or higher.  (smiles)
Cool!

Guess I keep going then.

Also I really should post this.
You see, once you put that stake in the ground, you really are committed. Once you say I'm going for this thing, and others see it, sure you get some encouragement. But you also get discouragement too.
And I'm only semi-brave. The fear is there.

P.S. It will be another week before I get the results of my Serve Safe test. Fingers crossed!